Dear caseworker...

Dear caseworker,

I just want to tell you about the Amoses.  They are cruel and I had to sleep in a shed!

And their son, Toddy, He stuck a pencil up my nose and got it up to the R!  When Toddy did that, I bopped him in the face, So he pretended his asthma was acting up and when Mrs.Amos led me to the shed his asthma magically disappeared! He is such a liar.

They were so terrible I thought about shooting them.

Mrs.Amos will believe ANYTHING Toddy says.

The excuse he used to not get in trouble when he put the pencil up my nose was I was about to wet the bed. Mrs.Amos hates bed-wetters.

While in the shed, I thought I saw a vampire bat. I whacked it with a rake and it cracked in half.

It turned out that it was a nest of hornets. I escaped with stings all over me.

I ran away and that's how I ended up here.

Sincerely, Bud